pokemon-personalities: a moment of recognition for those ships you shipped before you knew what shipping was
kcvmh: “That’s what she said.”
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
calumon: my school’s “rival school” is on lockdown right now bc someone put weed in the vents so everyones slowly getting high oh my godd
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone. It gives me time to think, and set my mind free. I like eating alone, and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child; A girl with her lover; Or a friend laughing with their best friend; I realize that even though I like being alone I don’t fancy being lonely.
friend: how far have you gone with a boy
me: in miles or kilometers
chefboyardeezie: banjo-jeff: chefboyardeezie: when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head
awesomephilia: Whoever put the ‘b’ in the word ‘subtle’ deserves a pat on the back
The Seven Shittiest Sins
Greed: I want shit
Envy: I want your shit
Wrath: I'm going to wreck your shit
Lust: I'm into some freaky shit
Gluttony: This is some tasty shit
Sloth: I don't feel like doing shit
Pride: I am the shit
lordthorin: The makers of The Hobbit are really lucky that Elijah Wood and Orlando Bloom are basically immortal
the-angels-have-teslas-at-221b: parenting tip making fun of your kid for enjoying the things they enjoy is the quickest way to make them feel so completely isolated from you that they are more comfortable talking to strangers on the internet than you about their problems
p0ndorica: it really pisses me off how people who are good at maths/science/history/etc are seen as the intelligent ones and will go far in life but also seen as the “boring” ones, but writers and artistic/creative people are seen as the interesting and talented ones but also unintelligent and doomed to be unsuccessful like shit bro how the fuck do any of us win
heathermorris: i’m one of those annoying people who’s always like “omg i know that actor from somewhere omg i recognize them whAT WERE THEY IN” when watching tv shows/movies who then proceeds to look it up on their phone and inform everyone that said actor was an extra in an episode of some stupid 90s sitcom once
the-dandelion-wish: break up lines: I don’t ship us we’re my notp we’re no longer canon we’re canoff we’re cannot we can still be a brotp this ship is sinking it was just a social experiment I murdered your cat.
psychoticmist: if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
We are shaped by each other. We adjust not to the reality of the world, but to...– Joseph Chilton Pearce (via amouremeline)
psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
What if I walked up to Robert Pattinson when he...
dobbyfredsirius: drkarayua: silent-renegade: I strongly believe that man would actually start crying Didn’t you hear about that time he was being swamped by twihards for autographs screaming EDWARD EDWARD and he ignored the fuck out of all of them. But then someone yells CEDRIC and that person is the only one who left with an autograph that day. and only one fuck was given that day
baelor: oh this show looks promising! *six months later* show is beloved and has good ra- there’s this tv sho- sh- *someone has an original idea*
fwips: oh man aggressively ordering me to do something i’m already doing/planning to do is pretty much guaranteeing that i’m going to stop doing it and take the time to just stare at you with a half blank half incredulous expression on my face